Parental Bullying: How Childhood Trauma Amplifies Workplace Abuse

Fifty percent of female targets of workplace bullying in my doctoral study first experienced psychological abuse by their mother and father. They did not have one abusive caretaker, but two; some had siblings who followed suit (Hecker, 2024). 

The Lasting Impact of Childhood Abuse

The consequences for children who experienced abuse at the hands of those who were supposed to care for them are harrowing and include delayed or stunted emotional or physical development, feeling deficient or defective, inability to know their strength, hypervigilance, need for verification of self, memory problems, somatic symptoms, and complex relational trauma (Felitti et al., 1998; Herman, 1992; Levine, 1997; NCBI Bookshelf, 2001; Siegel, 2012).

Often, the nervous system of children with such upbringing becomes primed to respond more acutely to abusive behavior. As the parent is the lifeline for the child, the child might adapt and split off the abusive aspect of the parent to remain attached and become desensitized to abuse.

Psychological Splitting

Psychological splitting is a complex defense mechanism with significant implications for understanding parent-child relationships. Ronald Fairbairn (1952) first developed the concept of splitting as a defense mechanism, though it has roots in Freudian psychoanalysis. Anna Freud (1936) further expanded on the idea, detailing how splitting helps individuals manage anxiety and protect their ego. Sigmund Freud (1936/1966) initially explored the broader concept of defense mechanisms, viewing splitting as a primitive psychological defense, particularly common during child development. He observed that children use this mechanism to manage complex emotions toward parents who simultaneously provide care and set limits. Otto Kernberg (1967) elaborated on the concept, describing splitting as a motivated mental operation that helps individuals protect themselves against ambivalent feelings. Specifically, Kernberg noted that children use splitting to separate negative and positive representations, especially during separation-individuation (18-36 months).

Reenactment

A child who split off abusive aspects of their parent, might later exhibit similar behavior with other authority figures, particularly those who resemble their parent (Herman, 1996; van der Kolk, 1989). Understandably, targets of childhood maltreatment look for safe places and believe those to be outside of the home, a friend’s house, school, recreational club, or university, and, later, the workplace. 

Retraumatization

After having endured so much hardship in childhood, it's heartbreaking that they were bullied again in adulthood, this time in their workplaces. As one participant described, they felt like they had moved from one viper's nest to another.

Psychological mechanisms seen in perpetrators of bullying

The complex dynamics of bullying and abuse involve deep psychological mechanisms that affect both perpetrators and victims. Perpetrators often project their own insecurities and negative self-perceptions onto their targets (Freud, 1936/1966). This projection serves as a defense mechanism, allowing the perpetrator to externalize and attempt to destroy aspects of themselves they find unacceptable (Klein, 1946).

Perpetrators often exhibit repetition compulsion, the desire to repeat the behavior to lessen the inner suffering. The concept of repetition compulsion, first introduced by Freud (1920/1955), suggests that perpetrators may repeatedly engage in abusive behaviors as an unconscious attempt to manage their own internal distress. This cyclical behavior can lead to significant psychological harm for the victims, who may experience a range of symptoms as their bodies and minds struggle to cope with the ongoing violence and abuse directed at them.

DARVO

When confronted, perpetrators often employ a tactic known as DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender), as described by Freyd (2024). This defensive strategy involves denying the abusive behavior, attacking the accuser, and positioning themselves as the victim. The inability to take ownership of their behavior keeps the unacceptable behavior projected onto the target and the vicious cycle of abuse going.

The persistent nature of such abuse, coupled with the perpetrator's refusal to acknowledge or cease their behavior, can lead to feelings of helplessness and anxiety in the victims (Cramer, 2008). Many targets of workplace bullying find that leaving the abusive environment is their only recourse, often resulting in self-imposed isolation and a diminished ability to trust others and themselves (Siefert et al., 2006).

A Call to Action

If you have experienced workplace bullying and had an abusive caretaker in your past, it is crucial to seek trauma-based professional therapy. Research has shown that individuals with a history of childhood abuse are more vulnerable to workplace bullying and its negative effects (Mathews & MacLeod, 2005). Trauma-focused therapies, such as Somatic Experiencing® or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), as well as psychotherapy and depth psychological therapy, have been found effective in addressing both childhood trauma and workplace bullying experiences (Bisson et al., 2013). These therapeutic approaches can help you process past traumas, develop healthier coping mechanisms, and rebuild your sense of self-worth and trust in others.

References

Bisson, J. I., Roberts, N. P., Andrew, M., Cooper, R., & Lewis, C. (2013). Psychological therapies for chronic post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in adults. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, (12).

Cramer, P. (2008). Seven pillars of defense mechanism theory. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 2(5), 1963-1981.

Fairbairn, D. (1952). Psychoanalytic studies of the personality. New York: Basic Books.

Felitti, V. J., Anda, R. F., Nordenberg, D., Williamson, D. F., Spitz, A. M., Edwards, V., ... & Marks, J. S. (1998). Relationship of Childhood Abuse and Household Dysfunction to Many of the Leading Causes of Death in Adults: The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 14(4), 245-258. Link.

Freud, A. (1966). The ego and the mechanisms of defense. (Rev. ed.). New York: International Universities Press. (Original work published 1936)

Freud, S. (1938). Splitting of the ego in the process of defense. In The standard edition of the complete psychological works of Sigmund Freud (Vol. 23, pp. 271-278). London: Hogarth Press.

Freud, S. (1955). Beyond the pleasure principle. In J. Strachey (Ed. & Trans.), The standard edition of the complete psychological works of Sigmund Freud (Vol. 18, pp. 1-64). Hogarth Press. (Original work published 1920)

Freyd, J. J. (2024). DARVO - Jennifer Joy Freyd, PhD. https://www.jjfreyd.com/darvo

Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence—from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror. Basic Books.

Herman, J. L. (1996). The Compulsion to Repeat the Trauma: Re-enactment, Revictimization, and Mastery.

Klein, M. (1946). Notes on some schizoid mechanisms. International Journal of Psycho-Analysis, 27, 99-110.

Mathews, A., & MacLeod, C. (2005). Cognitive vulnerability to emotional disorders. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 1, 167-195.

NCBI Bookshelf (2001). Understanding the Impact of Trauma - NCBI Bookshelf. Link.

Siefert, C. J., Hilsenroth, M. J., Weinberger, J., Blagys, M. D., & Ackerman, S. J. (2006). The relationship of patient defensive functioning and alliance with therapist technique during short-term psychodynamic psychotherapy. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 13(1), 20-33.